Sunday 24 July 2011

Sunday 24th July

 =/ So yeah, Jamie broke up with me over a week ago because he wants to be single fo' a while and i wouldn't let him be who he wanted =/

All i can say i guess is, I'm sorry for getting a lil jealous when you flirted with other girls... i guess i just missed the times when i got really nice lovely photo comments and i was trying hard to not lose you :'( I don't even know why i was like that because i knew it meant nothing and you loved me and only me.


I'm really happy we are still real good friends and that we still have hope that when your ready for a relationship i might have you back =] if/when that happens ima be a better girlfriend promise. like no more jealousy, complete control of Kelsi and never being mean to youuuuu. Tbf i didn't treat you right and you deserve better so ima just have to man up and watch you get with better people... il be fine. just gonna hope cuz everyone needs a bit of hope.

I LOVE YOU AS MY BEST FRIEND AND ALWAYS MORE <3



I miss you <3

Friday 20 May 2011

20th May 2011

What a shit week!!!

Tuesday- Exams started, Jamie and Dean (boyfriend and bestfriend) argue Dean wont talk to me while im with Jamie...
Wednesday-Miss jamie
Thursday-Break little finger
Today-Stuck doing fuck all for 5hours because my mom tryed to make me go to hornsea ><

Anywho, I do love Jamie... Otherwise I wouldnt of said yes to marrying him I guess ^_^
No matter what i sad to you when im down, angry or pissed off, remember I probably dont mean it and I really do love you kay?? <3 and im sorry for what i do say that may upset you

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

turn it up i never wanna go home
i only wanna be part of your breakdown
she got caught by the four on the floor
i picked her up
and she'll never get let down

and now i can't stop
thinking about it
all YOU people at the top
don't know nothing about it

we don't give a fuck what the price is
so just leave us to our own devices
and we'll leave you alone

i'll be there when your heart stops beating
i'll be there when your last breath's taken away
in the dark when there's no one listening
in the times when we both get carried away
when we both get carried away

she says it all without a thought in her head
she says it all as she's pressed up against me
a little something just to take off the edge
a little more and i'll fall off the planet entirely

i'll be there when your heart stops beating
i'll be there when your last breath's taken away
in the dark when there's no one listening
in the times when we both get carried away
when we both get carried away

i'll be there when your heart stops beating
i'll be there when your last breath's taken away
in the dark when there's no one listening
in the times when we both get carried away

when we both get carried away
when we both get carried away
(i'll be there when your heart stops beating)
when we both get carried away
(in the dark when there's no one listening)
when we both get carried away

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know its about a she buh its the chorus thats important :)

tehe.
lets make a deal... You show your emotions more and that you care && shizz and il stop saying i look shit and let you be romantic. Deal??

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Dream by Edgar Allen Poe

In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed-
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream- that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar-
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?

The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle -
Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea -
What are all these kissings worth
If thou kiss not me?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dunno what to wright noa. I love you < 3

Wednesday 11 May 2011

Wednesday 11th May 2011

Soooo yeahhh. Cant say anything about something cuz ima tell jamie first and i wanna know his first reaction ;D hahahahahahahahahahaha baiiiii <3<3<3<3<3

Tuesday 10 May 2011

10Th May 2011

So haii der :) been kicked out my maths lesson xD because were doing graphs and i have a pot on and cant wright. LMFAO!! :')
i miss jamie doe :( lots. it was nice to fall asleep on the phone with him doe :) I readlly cant wait to see him everydayyyy!!! il be all like =DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
and nevahh stop smiling tehe. anyhuuu meant to be doing some mymaths work....... meh :) id rather wright about my amazing fiance!!!! <3 Who i love so very much!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

OMG WOW I JUST GOT 100% ON THE MOVING AVERAGES HOMWWORK =]]]] haha im noa happeh!! <3

Tehe anyways..... My fiance is amazing. My fiance is sweet. My fiance is gawjush. My fiance has beautiful eyes. My fiance has an amazing smile. My fiance gives the best huggs. My fiance's kisses make everything better. My fiance can cheer me up. My fiance is cute when he sleeps. My fiance is amazing to snuggle upto. My fiance is the best. My fiance is thoughtful. My fiance is cute. My fiance is my best friend. My fiance is easy to talk to. My fiance knows all my secrets. My fiance gives me butterflys. My fiance makes my head spin. My fiance is everything I want. My fiance is everything I need. My fiance is mine... forever :) My fiance is Jamie Steven Allenby and I love you so much ^////^ bet your smiling noaa. and gonna send me a sweet text that also complains im right ;) I LOVE YOU BABY <3

Monday 9 May 2011

xD read

Things guys should know about girls

1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out. <<<<<true
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening. <<< i acctually find it amusing3. Don't say you understand when you don't. <<<<It annoys me
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest! <<<<Nahhh cuz Im not
5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like. <<<Or you will get hit :)
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. <<<<Very truueee
7. If you talk about having a big Dick; we know you don't. <<<<Unless your ryan hoskin....cuz he does
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships. <<<<and hoes get aids
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big. <<<mainly you come across a complet dick
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us. <<<<system???
11. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. <<<<Not saying nuffin
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes. <<<<And to show you care
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize. <<<You will get sex afterwards
14. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it. <<<<Go swimmling or to the beach??
15. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it. <<<Dont stop us earing make-up
16. We are DrAmA queens. <<<<<We can kick off at little things
17. Fashion police do exist.<<<<<And will take us down >=]
18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it. <<<<<And dont shove our heads down there
19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about. <<<<Unless its me then i would like to talk about, drinking, paintball, girls, boobs, other guys and sex :)
20. Hugs and kisses! must be given at all times. <<<<They are appreciated
21. We don't shave our legs everyday so get over it.<<<<But if you repetedly mention it we will go insane and shave for a whole hour...
22. Don't make bets about us; we always find out. <<<and you will again be punched
23. Shave; no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we hate it. <<<<No shave=No kisses, No sex, No nothing
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emitt other strange gases from your body, it is not. <<<<ewwww
25. Don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson's; hers are fake, just remember that. ( u have a better shot at ours than you ever will with hers) <<<<And i will get upset that you think my boobs are small
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets. <<<Kayy that sound halairius buh no
27. We are beautiful at all times. <<<<You wish
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't. <<<but never agree that were fat
29 You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss in the toilet and not on it. <<<<Dont make me rub your nose in it cuz i will
30. Most importantly: we are always right; so don't forget it.<<<SO STOP ARGUING WITH ME!

Hope you like :)



30 Things GUYS should know about GIRLS!..



1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.<<<I do this
2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.<<<Or bueried
3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.<<<I have those people who will break you
4. NEVER miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.<<<Even if they think your lying
5. DON'T refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.<<<It makes us feel special
6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.<<<And then their ussually sorry
7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.<<<<Its sweet and makes us feel loved
8. If you don't sleep with them, DO NOT tell your friends that you did.<<<<or be punched
8.5 If you DO sleep with them, DON'T tell your friends that you did.<<<<it makes us feel cheap
9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...<<<Its amusing
10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.<<<ummm...yeahh...totally
11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy..<<<I would love to pay half but i never have the monies and even if i did you probably wouldnt let me
11.5 Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!<<<Or let me!!!
12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, ONE OF HIS SWEATSHIRTS, and a really PRETTY RING. Even if it's not a serious relationship.<<<I have the stuffed animal, and one of his sweatshirts. 2 out of 3 :)
13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.<<<<Its sweet
14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.<<<<or just tell him to shut up.. W/E no big deal
15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, PULL YOUR girlfriend closer.<<<< -_-'
16. NEVER, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.<<<<Or be prepeared for an argument and to be ignored
17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.<<<<We like the irony of them
18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.<<<Friend, pets and family like you :)
19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.<<<Haha mines fattttt
20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.<<<And we need you to make us feel bettah
21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.<<<meh
22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.<<<Or just let me meet your college friends??
23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.<<<True
24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.<<<<^_^ you do that
25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.<<<<Unless its mee ;)
26. Memorize their god damn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.<<<<You would never live it down.
27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.<<<Something yummeh
28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.<<<Or... STOP SPENDING MONIES ON ME
29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt her more if you draw it out.<<<!!!!
30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.<<<????

Monday 9th May 2011

Soooo yeah, satureday was good for the most part =/
got really drunk and sat crying mah eyes out because i felt like jamie dosnt care :( and i was cutting... rather bad. would of been worse if someone hadnt taken my razor off me.
Then my purse was twoked!!!! Memory stick with course work on it!!! My national insurance card!!! My college interviews!! EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
Then i tried to break up with jamie over fb and phone call :'( spent the most part crying but were sorted.... ima be loud like i used to and hes gonna be more careing like he was =]
~~~^~~~~I miss that jamie~~~^~~~~At first he wouldnt kiss me infront of people but after he got over being embaressed he would just hold me and kiss me constantly.. as if to say 'shes mine, and i love her. try and steal he and you will pay' ^_^ its cute.
Hes treated me the best ^^ out of everyone ive been with... i dont wanna lose him :( i cant. never. wont. id die.... I WISH I COULD SAY THIS STUFF TO HIS FACE!!!!
>< i miss him so much!!!!!!!!!
Haha, im fucking insane i guess, atleast he puts up with me.
 kelsi has een getting out more..... doing bad things but i can remember doing them =/ thats weird... not normal.
baiiiii <3<3<3<3<3

Thursday 5 May 2011

5th May 2011

Sooo yeahh, long time no post :( haha.
welll what has gone on...... lets start with hols =]
Stayed at Jamies for a week wich was amazing!!!!! Spent our 6months together and just fell asleep with him for about 8 nights which was perfect ^_^
last saturday was funneh!!...... went drinking, ended up giving my friend a few blowjobs and watching mah bf jamie give him one :') was gonna have a 3sum buh they had trouble getting hard and i then went and broke my wrist xD
I do miss jamie. so very much!!!!!! I want him back, I do want you back :'( but i cant till our exams are done... buh then i will just stick to you as much as possible!!!!!!!!!! Tehe.
Prom will be amazing with you!!!! even though you  will be the only boy on the table xD sorry, wasnt my choice I will make it up to you any way ;P
I hope you read this and it makes you smile ^^ cuz id pay to see your smile, im happeh i get to see it for free... and i sometimes make it :)
i really cant wait to see you for the first time in ages cuz its gonna feel like forevahh and it will be amazing to hug you again!!!!!
baii baiii baby I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Monday 4 April 2011

Monday 4th April 2011

sooo yeah weekend = AMAZING! <3

friday i was worried i wouldt get to go to jamies cuz my mom was ina mood with me buh when i got home i got told to get ready and catch my bus ^_^... bus was 2hours late so i missed the early one to jamies so i stayed in town playing 'KICK THE OWL' with evie till 7.30 =] the owl being james xD
 i was on the phone to jamie while on the bus to his and i ended hanging up on him cuz he was saying 'wait a minuet, wait a minuet, wait a minuet' repetedly :') had a lovely  kiss doe ^///^
in the take-away jodi got pured coke all over her face and she was just layed in a puddle off coke xD
me and jamie watched jennifers body while falling asleep :) it was nice.

saturday- jamie had to go to work fo' most teh day so i went to south cave with jodie and louis to meet -insert persons name i always forget- and billy :)
me and louis convinced -IPNIAF- and billy that were brother and sister and we all just sat in the park being bored most the time =/
got back to jamies and jamie was just on the way to the shop so when we got back i stole his laptop again ;D
it was fun that night, we watched jamie and kobe on guitar hero and watched films, pissing ourselves at wrong turn 3  =] me and jamie fell asleep on the sofa, kobe in his bed and louis and jodie in jamies bed. jamie randomy woke up and said 'its really hard to do with your teeth...' we dunno what buh it was funneh. 'parently jamie and kobe snore and i was close to falling off the sofa all night.

sunday- woke up, i woke jamie up :) he tickled me and i fell off the sofa :( and then he kept stroking my face aand all you could hear was me sayin 'IM AWAKE JAMIE, IM AWAKE' :')
jamie said i have a mushtash :(
i went home on sunday :'( didnt like it. buh i get to see him next weekend for his couisins party and the weekend after for mu college interview and then the second week in easter =D

ooo you know when you find out if you get into south hunsley you might be moving into jamies house <3

iloveyou<3
i love you <3
i<3you
i luv yhu <3
ai shi teru <3
j'adore tu <3

_________________________________________________________________________________

NARWHALS, NARWHALS
SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN,
CAUSING A COMMOTION,
CUX THEY ARE SO AWESOME

NARWHALS, NARWHALS
SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN,
PRETTY BIG AND PRETTY WHITE,
THEY'D BEAT A POLAR BEAR IN A FIGHT

LIKE AN UNDERWATER UNICORN,
THEY GOT A KICK-ASS FACIAL HORN.
THEY ARE THE JEDI OF THE SEA,
THEY'LL STOP CTHULU  EATING YE

NARWHALS,
THEY ARE NARWHALS,
NARWHALS,
JUST DONT LET THEM TOUCH YOUR BALLS,
NARWHALS,
THEY ARE NARWHALS,
NARWHALS,
INVENTORS OF THE SHISH KEBAB =]
(repeat 1000000000000087339900000 times)

bet jamies siniging it noaaaaa ;D <3

Wednesday 30 March 2011

Wednesday 30th March 2011

so yeah, your dads being a cunt :'( made us both upset =/ and hurt...buh ima shhh about that, we get to spend a week in teh easter hols together ^_^

i love you so much, the past 5 months have been amazing with you, 6 wekks may hurt buh it will be even more amazing after, promise <3 i will make sure off it.

did you know your perfect?? i tell you alot cuz its true :) honest.
your everything and more ^_^ to me anyways <3
never ever change????
if you changed you might not like me anymore.... :( and i would be sad. cuz i need you and i love you lots.... and lots... and lots.... and lots.... and lots ^////^
tehe. i really cant wait for summer, it will be amazing to spend it with you and stuff =] :')
i think ive gotten over not being able to see you a bit... cuz i know i can still talk to you every so often and see you in the easter :)
your gonna do well in your exams i know you are, your real smart. thats why i need you :') to help me learn tbh.
i cant wait till we finish college and shizz, cuz we get to live together and be all liake cuddlezz and kissezzzzz and eeeeeeep ^_^
i really really hope this makes you happeh =] cuz you make me happeh... ima just have to wait a few weeks, to look into your eyes, .... too get to kiss you ^////^
i love you jimjam!!!!! aluvzchusooooomuchh <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
-scawiii voice- ima beeee you wife!!!!!!!!!!!!! mwhahahahahahahaha

Monday 28 March 2011

Monday 28th March 2011

eeee i got bored in maths so i came up with this >>>>

I Just love
my Amazing jamie.
He is Mine and
always wIll be
forever and Ever <3

its really stupid.... and as laura pointed out sad <.< (shifty eyes towards her)
buh it worked ^_^

i really really do love you jamie <3 so fucking much its unreal <3
i said most off what i wanted in the message this morning buh yeah :) i hope you got it ^_^
......i forgot to put my bra on this morning....... =/ :')
oops

ahhh making people paranoid =]

buh yeah i really miss you and this weekend should be good i cant wait to see you baby <3 ove you <3









Monday 21 March 2011

Monday 21st March

wellll for starters.... 2DAYS TILL WEDNESDAY= 5MONTHS!!! with the most amazing guy i know ans love <3
and its been like 1month 1week and 1day since he proposed ^_^ <3
hold shit deyy ages!!!!!! tehe buh i reallii reallii reallii doooo lurve hiim sooooo muchhh <3

teh weekendwas funnnnn!!!!!

Fridaiii- diploma (-_-') buh evie at lunch ;) evie slept at mine, we took some happeh pills && went on the westwood xD ohhh lordyy was piss, well the slender man was stalking us :/ and their were werewolves. ran about screaming 'WHATS THAT COMING OVER THE HILL, IS IT A MONSTER, NOOOOO ITS AMYYYY!!!!' and we stole a golf flag and decided if anyone asked where we found it, 'It came out of amy's vagina!' :') such funn lulable times!!!!!

Saturday- me and evie went to town and waited at pit for jamie and people. I was collecting monies for teh alcohol fund and managed to get over £20 =] haha drunk, drunk, drunk ;)
with jamie i thought he was being really distant and iffy with me so i got scared he was gonna break up with me= me drinking alot, quite fast :) I did some bad things like, pull danielle, evie, danny fry, some other people. while pulling danielle danny and aaron fell on us and i got kicked in the face :( too drunk to feel it doe :D
I started crying cuz i thought jamie would hate me :/ so me and floppy pretended to be sheep (i was a dead one) and jamie scared teh shit outta me and i screamed xD didnt do much afetr that apart from sort things out with danny and his girlfriend, walked around with floppy, smoking, sobering up, going home and watching alice in wounderland... O and getting jamie to quit lent ;P

Sundaii- realising i broke my nose a 3am >< playing with it till jamie stopped me :') jamie had to goo :( buh untill he did it was sooo much funn, watching him on the wii and just cuddling and kissing him ^_^ i love it tehe. ive never been this soppy with anyone buh o well <3<3<3<3

I LOVE YOU FOREVER && EVER< PINKY PROMISE <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<33<3<3<3<3<3

Wednesday 16 March 2011

welll yeahh....

So hey there Jamie.
I wish i could say this in person but i don't see you till Saturday and tbh i think id be to shy to say this unless I'm drinking..

I really really love you baby && i never ever wanna lose you. Ima prove this one day i promise.
Ima pay you back for all the times you pay me into Hull and for all the things you buy me.
Ima make it up to you for getting upset thinking your gonna leave me :/
Ima try and be more positive about us and not think you deserve better.
I'm sorry I'm like this I'm just scared :( its weird for me being in a relationship this long with someone who treats me well and doesn't abuse me or lie to me. I'm just scared your gonna find someone better (which you really can do) or leave me and break my heart....
I really don't wanna lose you. I need you so much. <3
I need you to keep me sane. I need you to keep me from hurting myself :/
I need you allot more than i want you but i want you a hell of allot.

I know you wont agree but your perfect.
I love your hair and how its soft all the time.
I love your eyes and how pretty and blue they are. I like to look into them ^////^ its like looking into your soul and its so beautiful and pure.
I love your smile and how even when i don't want to, it makes me smile. I like how its kinda crooked and really cute.
I love your body and how nice it is to fall asleep with. It makes me feel all safe and lets me know that your actually real and I'm not imaging you.
I love your arms and when you hold me, just for the hugs, when I'm upset or when I'm really happy. They make me feel so safe and wanted i sometimes never want you to let go.
I love your personality. Its so kind, sweet, charming, amazing, cute, lovely and friendly. Your always nice to me no matter how much I'm upset, your always sweet to me even if i tell you to fuck off :/
I love you, entirely, so much. All of you. I'm so happy your mine, and I'm sorry for trying to push you away :( please don't leave me??

Last night i was reading chapter 3 of New Moon, when Edward leaves Bella.
I fell asleep and had a dream that woke me up crying...
it was our 2 years anniversary, but you didn't know, you asked me to walk to queens with you for a talk.
We went to Queens and sat on a bench, you started 'Aby, I'm moving away.'
I thought you meant i was going too because we talk about moving away together so i asked where were going.
You replied 'Not 'us' just me. Okay, your staying here.'
I was shocked and confused 'Why??? Where you going??'
You 'Im just leaving. I cant stay here, I'm moving far away so you never have to see ma again.'
I was close to tears but i held them back and said ;Why... What did i do wrong?? I'm sorry if i annoyed you or...'
You stopped me and said 'No its not your fault, I just don't want you anymore. I think that because I'm breaking up with you, I need to move away so you can forget me and move on'
I was so upset i wanted to just hold on to you and cry but i still didn't 'I don't want to lose you, I don't want to get over you but if that's what you want, okay....'
You walked away and I just layed there on the bench, crying my eyes out. I don't know how long i was there but Ryan Hoskin found me and asked if i was okay. All i could say was 'He's left me, Hes gone' and i couldn't move. He seemed to understand and he picked me up and took me to pit to find Terry to take me back to their place. Someone gave me a cig and when i was about to put it out and noone was looking i put it out on my wrist hoping that i wouldnt be able to feel it bacause I'd be dead. Unfortuantly i could feel it and Ryan took it off me.
When me, Ryan and Terry got to theirs i went to the toilet and found a razor for my wrists, Ryan and Terry thought i was taking to long so they came in and found me bleeding. I ended up drinking all the time, not leaving the house and either Terry or Ryan watched me for months.
I woke up crying :'(
I guess this is how much i need you...

Im sorry if this makes you cry or anything i really dont want you too.
I doo want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I love you <3

Tuesday 15 March 2011

Tuesday 15th March

im maths with charlii xD
is quite fun :')

one thing i really wanna wright about doe is I LOVE YOU JAMIE STEPHEN ALLENBY <3
&& i know we have our moments.... and by that i mean me overreacting and nearly fucking everything up =/ buh i really cant afford to lose you ever :( i think my head would be fucked if i did and i dunno what i would do so please just ignor me when im like that kayy
i really need you and i love you with all my heart. i hope you read this and sit puts a smile on your face. i know my house is boring as fuck and you would rather be drinking with your friends buh yeah  :/
i really love you <3
lots and lots <3
i love my fiance <3

Thursday 10 March 2011

Thursday 10th March 2011

Well yeah today is sooo fucking SHIT!! its taking the fucking piss :(

First skype dosnt work so i cant talk to my amazing boyfriend </3
Then we get some exam results, Chemistry- C thats not to bad. buh Creative and media Diploma Unit 5- U!!!!! fuck that i worked real hard and got 1 FUCKING MARK! if my partner has a higher mark than me i will kick off ><
O and my boyfriends parents said if he gets a under a B in his maths exam than hes not allowed out on weekends..... he got a U :( so theres a big possibility i wont see him tomorrow. im gunna be so fucking sad if i dont get to cuddle him while i fall asleep after a week off hardly any :(
i just wanna see him, he makes me so happy and everything feels so much better when he's around to cuddle and kiss me. <3

Wednesday 9 March 2011

Wednesdaii 9th March

yeahh well, noo sleep much again :(
the other night bad dream :'(
well on the phone to jamie last night was sooo cute ^____^ he sang songs to me ^////^
buh i made him cry cuz i sent him a letter that he didnt know about <3
anywhu math revision baii <3

Monday 7 March 2011

jamieeeeee

Well it has been a while since me and jamie got together and i actually remember soo much its stupid xD buh I love you soooo much <3

I had already told you i like you buh you told me you had to talk to me more... That kinda hurt tbh and then you convinced me to get with that poo'head ><

Friday 22nd October- I was in town mostly texting you ^__^ it was fun. I got teh bus home to ask my mom for monie to welly and she hit me buh gave me a fiver. I had a black eye buh I didn't mind. The bus was late back to welly and then all teh way down bev road some chavs were pushing the button for every stop so I ended up getting off teh bus and running all the way to welly xD on the way there I texted Kim and asked if I could stay there the night so I was going there with Terry. I got to welly and it was the fun mosh pits as usual. halfway thru I was headbanging and got headbutted smack on in the face. I went to the toilets to clean up the blood and then welly ended. I met Terry outside and we went back to Kim's, at Kim's we lit up a joint and opened some cider. I was messing with my nose and realised it was broken. it was Terry who had headbutted me and he felt bad so he gave me another joint so it didn't hurt a much :) I fell asleep. For like 20 mins ><

Saturday 23rd October- I had arranged to meet you the day before at pit at 11:30. You were already there and as soon as I got there I layed down and had a rest. My nose was killing me and by then I had two black eyes ( now permanent bruises) and a bent nose :') But you didn't mind. We were sat at pit, me on your knee, and you said in my ear 'Will you go out with me?' and I said yes ^___^ You were so happy it was cuteh. Buh then I had to leave and you walked me to my bus, you kissed me goodbye.... I guess it would off been sweet if Jodi didn't ring you and the vibrations didnt nearly give you an erection :')

I don't remember dates anymore sooo yeah....

The next thing I remember is sleeping at yours the next weekend, it was sooo nice to fall asleep with you and I was soo happy when I did. There was only 2 things wrong with that weekend..... Meg tried to eat me and I had to leave :(

That next weekend you slept at mine and I'm sorry for teasing you sooo much and giving you blueballs :') LOL at you walking round tesco!!!! Buh you did lose your virginity that weekend soooo yeah... in a kinda failed way buh shhhh you did in the end

The next thing I remember is my birthday ^__^ I met you in town and you took me to the cinema =] We went to see The Little Fockers which was really good and I'm happy you did. You also bought me a HelloKitty Doll from Blue Banana, to feed my HelloKitty obsession xD You bought some alcohol and we went back to mine. We stayed at mine till x-mas eve then we went to yours for x-mas. It was nice cuz i could off either had a bird, stuffed in a bird, stuffed in a bird. Or your veggie stuff. I chose the veggie stuff and you dad had a go at you for making me weird x] Your mom gave me a card, eyeliner and mascara :) The card contained a tenner so that was nice off her. during the time I spent at yours I beat you 8times at guitar hero ;D you admit it with some reasoning ^_^ After 12 amazing days with you we had to leave :( i was sooo sad I wanted to die tbh. all i wanted was you back.

I cant remember if your cousins wedding party was before or after that buh I do remember I got you to wear my hair extensions and dress xD While you were in the shower doe I got ready with my hair, dress and make-up, you got out the shower and just stopped and stared at me... i was worried i looked stupid buh you came over and just said 'you look beautiful' it made me smile sooo much ^_^ nawww you soppy git ;) The wedding party was fun :) Your dads car broke down so we had to walk back in the cold and snow.. I WAS WEARING HEELS!! Buh yeah we had to use your aunties boyfriends car and we got back to yours...

Next thing I really remember was Friday the 11th :) We celebrated valentines day then ^_ ^ Cuz valentines day was when we were at college/school so yeah.
You met me off the bus from my diploma and had told me you couldn't get me a present cuz you didn't have the monies. We got to my room and you threw another HelloKitty Doll at my head ;) I still cant believe I ruined it by knocking it onto my lamp :( theres a hole melted into its face....
We went to welly that night tooo, that was fun. I got to be with you. I had glow sticks in my ear and I gained a mask :')
That night we were layed on my sofa and you had your head on my chest so jokingly I said I was teh guy and should propose xD and then you just proposed ^_^ It was really sweet and i said yeah ^^ You smiled s much and i was happy you were happy =]

next i remember is last weekend the 4th-6th of March :) you met me off the bus again... at my house you elbowed me in the face and my head smacked against the wall and you felt soo bad. i promise its fine so bee happeh :) we watched my new DVD 'Puppetry of The Penis' and you lulled so much and tried some of them xD
We teased that girl on msn xD.... I didn't like it when you left again :( I cant wait till next week cuz I see you again ans il be really happy.

I love you soo much and I cant wait to see you and live with you and everything <3
Mine forever <3
and ever <3
and ever <3

__________________________________________________________________________________

I know I say this alot buh I am in love with you <3
You are my life, my world, my universe, my everything <3
Nothing and noone will ever replace you, promise <3

A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying
That you and me
Might end up together
It's like wishing for rain
As I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you
Closer than most
'Cause you are my heaven

I don't wanna
Waste the weekend
If you don't love me
Pretend
A few more hours
Then it's time to go
As my train rolls down
The East coast
I wonder how
You'll keep warm
It's too late to cry
Too broken to move on

Still I can't let you be
Most nights I hardly sleep
Don't take
What you don't need from me

A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying
That you and me
Might end up together
It's like wishing for rain
As I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you
Closer than most
'Cause you are my heaven

Misplaced trust
And old friends
Never counting regrets
By the grace of God
I do not rest at all
New England
As the leaves change
The last excuse
That I'll claim
I was a boy
Who loved a woman
Like a little girl

Still I can't let you be
Most nights I hardly sleep
Don't take what you
Don't need from me

A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying
That you and me
Might end up together
It's like wishing for rain
As I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you
Closer than most
'Cause you are my

Heaven doesn't seem
Far away anymore
Heaven doesn't seem far away
Heaven doesn't seem
Far away anymore
Heaven doesn't seem far away

A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying
That you and me
Might end up together
It's like wishing for rain
As I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you
Closer than most
'Cause you are my heaven
You are my heaven

<3

I miss you all the time and I love spending a single second with you.
I love that I get to keep you forever..
All my love, Harley <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Sunday 13 February 2011

13th Febuary 2011

yeah so been engaged 2days and mine and jamies 4months is in 10 days.... i should be happy right??

WELL IM FUCKING NOT JAMIES DAD IS BEING A FUCKING PRICK AND GROUNDING HIM FOR FUCK ALL!!!!

nuff said

Saturday 12 February 2011

11th Febuary 2011

sooo umm yeah i maybe wrighting this on teh 12th buh stfu kayy?? gonna wright it as if it was yesterdaii =]

^^ went to school, had quite a good daii fiiniished all myy work && dat
buh i think i was looking forward to seeing jamie <3
he met me off teh bus and when we got to miinee myy mommie gave me monies to go to valentimes welly so we got ready, i was wearing a button up shirt and a skirt, he was wearing skinny jeans and a top. welly was good =D there was loud music, pits, and jamie.
when we got home i got changed into mah sweats and we layed in the living room watching dirty shanchez (???) cuddleing.
then my mommie and her boyfriend got it and watchd it with us. then they went to bed and me and jamie stayed up for a bit.
earlier we had been talking about how im teh man in relationships when im with a girl, and jamie had his head on my chest so i joked i was teh man and asked if it was my job to propose and jokingly asked if he would marry me :')
then all off a sudden he asked if id marry him... the convo went like thiss >>>
jamie- 'will you marry me??'
me- 'really??'
jamie- 'what???'
me- 'what??'
jamie- 'what??'
(few mins later)
jamie- 'you never answerd my question...'
me- 'what question??'
jamie- 'will yoi marry me??'
me- 'really??'
jamie- 'what??'
me- 'what??'
jamie- 'ehat??'
me- 'what'
jamie- 'what??'
(few mins later)
jamie- 'you never answered my queston...'
me- 'what question??'
jamie- will you mary me??'
me- 'really??'
jamie- 'yeah'
me- 'yes' ^^
jamie- 'i love you'
-long cuddles session- <3<3<3<3 am happy tehe <3<3

Thursday 10 February 2011

10th Febuary 2011

^^ YAYYYYYY!!!!
i had a crazy moment last night and nearly fucked up everything buh its all fine noaaaa =] i love mah jamie for not giving up on me when i tried to break up with him.... did spend a few hours crying my eyes out. then i washed up, dryed the pots, hovered and started to tidy my room. in the end i just sat crying talking to jamie who soon cheered my up <3
i miss him doe :(
and he has to leave me for a couple of hours this saturday... buh its for a good reason so l live =]
ooooo and found out somthing nice but noaa it ruind a suprise so it might not be happening but o well cuz it made me smile <3<3<3
i love you jamie <3

Wednesday 9 February 2011

9th Febuary 2011

wellll, its valentimes day soooon!!! next monday infact ^^
and more to the point, my first valentimes day with someone n_n
so this yer im breaking my tradition off sitting in the dark, in my sweats, eating liters upon liters if ice-cream watching soppy films </3
this year im.... gonna be at school on the 14th....BUT on the11th im meeting jmie fter school!!! the 12th were spending the dy together =] and than im kicking him out to get his present redy ;) not telling s he reads this so shhhhhhh! and then on the 13th i get to wake up with him n_n and then all teh happiness is ruined with the fact he has to leave ><
if he didint hve college he would stay buh.... :'(
o welll <3
this is going to be the best valentimes day ive had so far ^^
i LoVe My EmO bOy <3

Saturday 5 February 2011

Monday 31 January 2011

31st January 2011

i love my jamie <3 so much its insane.
i love being around him even if he hit me in the face repetedly xD
i remeber lots off little things about him that i dont remeber about anything else :')
i love it that hes cute, sweet, kind and that we have lasted so long <3
i dislike it when he doubts himself doe :( saying i deserve better... well i dont care what i deserve, i love him =]
for our 4months he said he will take me to pizza hut cuz i nevahh been :)
valentines day he said hes getting me a millie's cookie cuz i nevahh had one :)
if he finds his old ipod he said hes going to give me it :)
he said hes going to download games to his ds and give me it :)
he said hes going to make a dream i have come true :)
he said hes going to keep me happy and nevah leave me :)
i love this guy so much i dont really need any off these things apart from the nevahh leaving me bit ^^

i miss him so much when hes not around, i just want him back :(
i may have his, top, jeans, pj bottoms, boxers and jumper... buh i just want him <3
he has helped me through some bad things in my life,  i can talk to him about everything. i can just walk up to him and cuddle hi, and he will just cuddle me back without asking 'why?' till im ready to tell.
its amazing how you can find the one you wanna be with forever ^^ its nice and scary at the same time but im sure if ive got him to hold my hand along the way il be fine <3
i know hes going to smile when he reads this ^^ and then il get a text saying how much he loves me and that i made him smile :')
tehe i love his texts <3
well im off baiiii <3

Tuesday 25 January 2011

25TH january 2011

sooo yeah no posts in ages ><
well i love my jamie soooo much <3 3 months last sunday <3 makes me so happy.
i know were gonna last a long long time.

well sunday night i had a minni breakdown =/ was crying for hours and i cut both my shoulders... they still really hurt ><

anyhooo i get to see mah jamie this weekend, then next weekend is mah friends party =] and then as valentimes day is on a school day im spending the weekend before and after with jamie <3<3<3

iloveyou <3

Saturday 15 January 2011

Saturday 15th January 2011

well i woke up with jamie <3
was meant to get the 10:30 bus but stayed in bed ^______^ got the 11.20 bus to hull.
was funnnn =] went to fruit and had funnn :D got raped by dean, stolen by dean, kidniped by aiden and hugged and kissed by jamie <3
headbanging+loud music+a random un-pitting related injury+chain smoking=a good time+a happeh abbeh xD
mah friend jack was nice enuff to give us some grass <3
got home to babysitt, sent mah brother to bed and made me and jamie a joint (cuz he's shit an dat) :)
OHH-EM-GEE!!! I LICKED A TOUNGE PIERCING =P it's sooo weird AND I LIAHK ITTT =P
hahaha, hmmmm i want a black&&green glittery unicorn ^^
<3<3<3 jamie <3<3<3

baiiii xxxxxxxxxxxxx<3

Thursday 13 January 2011

13th Thursday Jan 2011

hmmmmm well just had a go at some year 9's in the canteen!!!
chavs- 'look shes wearing hair extensions'
me- 'and you talk really loud'
chavs- at least were not fake'
me- 'no your worse, your chavs!!!!'
chavs- '.....' *walks off*
me- 'LOL!!!!'
xD im proud <3

well jamie made me cry last night :'( but then  he rand me and cheered me up ^^ i do love him lots and lots x1937836289393 :D ilovehim imensliyy <3<3<3<3<3 and if he leaves me i will cry alot and be like -dies- and then il just lock my-self in my room in the dark and just never leave.... im scared of the dark tooo ><

D: i miss him loads it makes me sad...... i just wanna be with him all the time, i love the fact we havnt had a proper argument at all and we just get on so well. eeeep i cant wait to fall asleep in his arms this weekend <3<3<3

baiii xxxx<3

Sunday 9 January 2011

Sunday 9th January 2011 jamie

JAMIE <3

he's a wave and she is breaking
he's a problem to solve
and in that circle he's making
I will always revolve

And on his sight
These eyes depend
Invisible and Indivisible

That fire you ignited
Good, bad and undecided
Burns when I stand beside it
Your light is ultraviolet

Visions so insane
Travel unraveling through my brain
Cold when I am denied it
Your light is ultraviolet
Ultraviolet

Now is a phase and it's changing
It's rotating us all
Thought we're safe but we're dangling
and it's too far to survive the fall

And this I know
It will not bend
Invisible and indivisible

That fire you ignited
Good, Bad and undecided
Burns when I stand beside it
Your light is ultraviolet

Visions so insane
Travel unraveling through my brain
Cold when I am denied it
Your light is ultraviolet,
ultraviolet

That fire you ignited
Good, Bad and undecided
Burns when I stand beside it
Your light is ultraviolet

Visions so insane
Travel unraveling through my brain
Cold when I am denied it
Your light is ultraviolet,
ultraviolet

Your light is ultraviolet

Visions so insane
Travel unraveling through my brain
Cold when I am denied it
Your light is ultraviolet
Ultraviolet

<3 sorry its just a song but shhh i love you so fucjing much.... acctually nah i dont im in love with you.

your so cute, attractive, amazing, the best thing in my life keeping me sane atm, for that i thank you <3 and im eternaly yours.

 my blog may not be as long as long as yours but idgaf okayyy!!

i love every moment with you, i just wanna keep it like that forever, i wanna be with you now till im old and further <3

anyhu baii xxxx<3

Thursday 6 January 2011

Thursday 6Th january 2011

welll im ill >< a throat virus, and its fucking painfull.
i miss my jimjam tho and that hurts more than the virus..... i want him back in my bed ;)
i mean i want him back hugging me ^__________^
hmmm im bored ta fuck and just  on facebook. might just go noaaaa, i know its not much but get over it.
baiii xxxxxxxxxxxx<3

Saturday 1 January 2011

saturday 1st january 2011

well its the new year :) -sarcastic haappy wave- ><
yay another year for more shit.... but i spend most off it with jamie so owell <3
went into the new year with jamie and ill -_-' >.> NOT jamies fault at all LOL JOKE my amazing botfriend made me extramly ill :D
hmmmm watched percy jackson and the lightning thief last night.... i got stressed that its COMPLETLY wrong!!!!! its nothing like the book, if their gonna make a film atleast get the important bits right i mean come on.
urgh dying... tehe im in triuble for getting my mommeh ill ^_^ oopsiee
(8) i dont break bones, just hearts (8)
yay amy can flyy -spazzy happy hand thing- <3 love them nearly as much as i love jamie <3
annyhuuu buhbaii xxxxxx<3